All the stress made me so tired. But I learnt something...
After suffering from financial problems for many months, I strated working in a bar I used to work before. I love my work, it's one of the bestest things in my life at the moment. The atmosphere, the people... I love everything there.
Then, I was working on documentries, and I am working on documentaries. I don't get money from them and I don't even get any enjoyment from them anymore. I feel like a machine that goes from place to another and presses button. Long days filming and cancelled meetings. When I try to put something on my calendar, it always screws up.
When I work in a bar, I get money, I get to hang with people I like, I meet people and when I have a shift, I have a shift. It can't be cancelled.
I was offering my photography and filming skills to others, for free. I bought a camera that cost 2000 €, I have my computer that cost 1700 €. I'm spending my time and money, my own money to help other people. I get questions "have you yet..??" "have you yet??" and people don't seem to understand that I'm doing everything for free, so I do things when I have spare time.
So, I have decided not to do anything for free anymore.
Also I understood that projects like I did aren't for me. I need to do projects on my own, for myself, as myself. I don't need any big company behind me. I will be independent film maker. I wil make documentaries as a hobby, my income will be my bar work.