Tuesday, 26 July 2011

322nd issue: Dating

My friend asked me today a question: "Esin, how do I say to a girl in a nice way that I'm not interested of her?" My answer was: "Well, guys usually stop contacting me or answering my calls/text messages. They start ignoring me".

Then I started to think the question deeper, and asked "how long have you been dating, and are you SURE that you are not interested of her?" My friend said: "We have met two times and she's just too excited about this thing, and I'm getting anxious" HA! Gotcha!

So many guys have told me "Esin, I'm getting anxious about your behavior". Last time I heard this was last friday. But finally someone said it straight to my face, but at the same time I got angry. Why did I get angry? Well, first of all I don't want to make anyone anxious, second is that I'm anxious all the time but I don't blame other people about it. Also I think it's evil to blame other person because of your anguish.

In my life, many of the guys who have said that I make them anxious, have years later started contacting me. Why? Because I have stop contacting them - totally. Now they have had the opportunity to get to know me from the side, and they have understood that what they missed. But my excitement has made their anguish side rise, and that's the reason it hasn't been possible before.

I can tell that especially chicks (and probably guys too), who have been singles for a longer term, have hard times on balancing their emotions. And when they have made their hearts "cold" - and suddenly they give theirself opportunity to like someone - it appears full on.

People need just to try to understand each other. Sadly too often people just start thinking "On no, that person is making me anxious", or they say "I'm anxious because of you, stop contacting me!"

But from my point of view, if the other person doesn't suffer from any kinds of mental problems, this person who has got anxious shouldn't blame the other person - he/she should understand. And I think excitement usually dies in two weeks anyway.

Anxious people, chill out!

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